encounters

so, boys against girls. how long have we been playing that way? today during 5th grade mentoring, i took two 5th grade boys because their mentor was gone. they were totally cool kids and we went to play foosball. they were playing each other, and then some girls came in and asked if they could play. the girls were good, but the guys still beat them, best out of three. more girls came to play, and their mentors stood by to watch as well. the mentors starting calling "go girls! come on girls!" and then, inevitably, it became that timeless battle of the sexes: boys v. girls. i wanted my mentees to win and i found myself feeling loyalty for my mentees, but inside i felt myself rooting for the girls. "come on, jan," i told myself, "it doesn't matter." but we all know that it does! ever since i was in their shoes - 5th grader who thinks she knows everything - it always came down to beating the boys! how interesting. btw, the boys let me play with them, so we did three on three, and we lost by one... and i blame myself, since i must have secretly been wanting the girls to beat us. why else would we have lost the match? i should have recused myself from the match due to a conflict of interest.

second encounter today - this girl that i know from 'somewhere' totally knew my name and engaged in a conversation with me and i greeted her, spoke with her, left, and still to this moment i couldn't tell you what her name was or how i know her. what is wrong with me?! that is so frustrating.