So, as many of you know, I am currently at the police academy. I bet you're excited because you think I'm gonna be a cop. Or, you're probably totally shocked. But this is what I'm doing: I am in training to be an SFO (Special Functions Officer) so that I can act as bailiff for the judge I'm clerking for in the fall. So, basically I am going through the training center (what I like to call Police MTC) for corrections officers right now. There's no real connection between bailiffs and corrections, but they just group us in with them and we end up learning all sorts of cool things--like what to do when there is a hazardous material spill, how to put someone in a twist lock and handcuff them, what constitutes a lawful arrest, how to identify someone's gang by the cryptic messages in their tattoos, and how to get fingerprints. As you can see, it is LEGIT! Let's just say that it is as cool as it looks on TV. Handcuffs are about the coolest things I get; I won't ever have firearms and taser training (phew! scary!), because our block is only 6 weeks, but apparently I do get a night stick that I can (?) use to subdue a defendant who is trying to attack the judge. Or, to avoid risking taking out the night stick having it used against me because who knows if I'll even know what to do with it, my plan is to just yell "Run, judge!" when necessary.
Like I said, it's like the MTC for law enforcement. We have an hour of physical fitness everyday. I was seriously disappointed that we wouldn't be playing sand volleyball and four square every other day, but we do some major fitness workouts! Try 100 pushups and 100 leg lifts and then run stairs or, like today, sprint 300m, job 300m, then do it three more times and do 50 pushups and 50 leglifts and we'll call it an easy day. Oh yeah, feel the burn as we speak! We also have a little block schedule packet that looks like the one I gave my missionaries in the MTC that shows what classes we have that week and when our breaks are. Our classes are very law based so far, which is good for me to refresh my memory on criminal law and procedure. We also have classes on interrogation, evidence collecting, use of force, gangs (oh man, that was a crazy day), and don't forget, Defensive Tactics. Yes, I own wrestling shoes. Yes, I possess a pair of handcuffs. And yes, I could cuff and search you (as long as you are willing to follow my verbal commands while I point my clasped hands at you like I'm holding a gun). It's pretty fun! It is really funny when I think about all of the career guidance tests I took through middle school and high school that said, almost without fail, "your career areas of interest" included elementary school teacher, artist, and something in the hospitality business. As you can probably guess, it never had "law enforcement" as my dream career. And, of course, I'm not technically in law enforcement as a career, so I haven't totally shifted gears, and I am reminded daily the reasons why law enforcement was never on my list (I hate weapons, I'm terrified of confrontations involving violence, I am offended by the language and topics of discussion that frequents my classmates' mouths, and I would get my feelings hurt if an inmate didn't do what I said), but it is proving to be a pretty awesome, unique experience. I do have to say, though, I am sooo glad that I'm not really going into law enforcement. These people do a REALLY hard job. But how cool is it that I get to play cops and robbers for a little bit? All in good fun.
My new job for reals: I am working for a judge in the Utah Fourth District Court starting in the fall and I'm excited to exercise my legal muscles (after I'm done exercising my defensive tactics muscles here at the police academy). I will be the judge's law clerk, which means I will help her with cases, write memos on how I think the case should be decided, and write rulings for some of her decisions. It's a pretty common job for recent law grads to do for the year after they graduate. It's a year commitment, but can end up being two years. This is the only court that I know of that has their law clerks act as bailiffs, so most law clerks don't get to go to the Police MTC and sit in on trials. But here's the best part that got me really excited when I went to visit the court two weeks ago. I get my own office! I mean, I constantly see people working in little offices with no windows and fluorescent lighting and I'm like "how do those people bear it?? I would die in one of those offices." BUT, when it's YOUR office--you feel different about that little space. You're like, "check out my sweet chair, my sweet desk, my sweet filing cabinet, and the countless possibilities for this blank wall!" I was surprised at how excited I got about my little square of space. But, really, how cool is it that I have a real job. Yes, I AM 27 and this is my first real job. Neither here nor there, people! Some of us just take a while, okay? I am excited to finally have a place where I belong--I'm not paying anyone to be allowed to show up everyday and be drilled by professors. These people hired me! Which leads me to the second best thing that happened to me when I visited the court: the fact that I could introduce myself as "the new law clerk." I am NOT the intern, NOT the student, NOT the temp. I am an employee! I am LEGIT! (Just like my new akido skills.) I just have to say, that was a great feeling. I have been saying, "Yes, I'm Jana. I am a student at...." for the past 20 years and boy does it feel great to be on the threshold of a new adventure. I know, I know, you're saying to yourself "that little office and that cool new job is gonna get pret-ty old here really fast..." and, you're probably right. And I'll probably be posting on here sometime in the next year titled "ugh. my new job." But for now--woohoo! Let's hear it for employment!
