I told Cath that I wanted to write a blog about last week - it was Homecoming. And I loved it - Homecoming, I mean. I actually only participated in one thing. I went to Spectacular and it changed my life. The choir sang Danny Boy and I cried, which I never do. And then they showed pictures of BYU's campus expanding over time and I had to wipe my cheek. I am so complacent about my opportunity to be here and though I don't feel I always live up to the expectation, at least I could recognize the privilege I have to be associated with such a remarkable institution.
The theme was "coming full circle." I feel like this has been a continual (circular, if you will) theme in my life, especially after coming home from my mission. Oh great. Here comes the cheesy quote to my mind that my dad would always remind me of - Dorothy says it in the Wizard of Oz (not my fav movie, but whatever. It's still good.) She says something like how she didn't have to go looking beyond her own backyard afterall...something something. I travel on a path near and far from where I really want to be, and once I round the bend and get back on track I realize what was missing, what I needed, what I was looking for - but maybe wouldn't have seen without the experiences I had.
That's actually not exactly what I was getting at. I don't feel like I'm looking for some magical escape. But it is a similar realization. It was more like realizing that it actually DID take me 9 months and a serious relationship to actually adjust after my mission, despite me thinking "Oh, I'm totally adjusted. How are you?" I didn't even know I was going through that process - until I looked behind and in front and was like - whoa. Or, going on a mission and coming back only to realize that what I learned as a missionary was how to be a member - things I could be doing all the time, but I had to go to Japan to figure it out. Or, how what I really wanted out of an education wasn't grades after all and that I had been kidding myself by trying to get a grade and missing the knowledge part. Oh yeah, that.
Coming full circle - I felt that was for me. I think we all kinda come full circle everyday - when we exercise or serve someone, it's like we learned for the first time that: "Hey, I feel GOOD when I do something hard or I put myself out there. Whodathunk?" Plus, it was kinda cool (sorry to all the people who don't have a BYU reference and you feel lost) that the person we were honoring was Karl Maeser. He was a cool guy. I'm supposedly in the Honor's Program at BYU, though I feel like a poser, and I sometimes have classes in the Maeser building. I walk by his statue totally intimidated and like "I'm not worthy, oh great one!" but I still manage to be allowed to take the class. Kinda cool. But, I'm trying to come full circle with that. Give it my all, ya know. And then there's the tie to his chalk circle that he would never cross out of had he given his word to remain. I like that.
But, what was a really cool "come full circle" moment for me this past summer was when President Hinckley came to dedicate the building named after him on his birthday. It was so cool to hear him talk about his father attending here at BYU - and here he was dedicating a building with his name on it at age 97. What a man. That was pretty incredible. Thank you for playing. I'm going to let you peel your eyes from this oh-so-gradiose writing sample and release you back into your life. But, thanks for reading. I'd appreciate comments. BYU alumni? I know you're out there.
9 comments:
yes. BYU. Full circle. I'm with you. I had mixed feelings attending BYU... ranging from depressed to inspired, annoyed to enlightened. In the end, though, I'm just grateful for the experience. Grateful for the english classes that taught me to look beyond, for some great friends, and...whatever else. Let me just say attending ASU has given me a real appreciation for the things BYU stands for.
Plus, you can't beat autumn on BYU campus. You just can't.
--Am
I love, and have always loved, BYU. It was disconcerting to me to learn, as a freshman, that some fellow students apparently despised their enrollment here. I wondered, 'Why are they here? Why would anyone ever do something they don't want to do?" I often wonder that still, but I think that I was too judgmental as a freshman. Now, I recognize my limited perspective of other's lives and circumstances. Perhaps, some of these people see themselves as not obtaining the glorified academic status that a high profile university provides. I can understand that--I often pine for glory and praise. I think it important to understand this university's intentions.
I believe this institution's intentions are quite different than Ivy League schools. It is not Ivy League because it is not attempting to be Ivy League. BYU strives for secular academic success and at the same time it attempts to suppress the pride of the learned. It seeks balance between supposedly amoral scientific knowledge and supposedly unscientific revelation.
It seems that much of Western Civilization has been a polarization between science and religion (if I can label them so generally.) These positions, however, are not exclusive. Reality is reality whether you come to that knowledge through systematic, objective study or by revelation. I believe the Church and BYU hold this same position. This is why BYU's intentions are so unique--they attempt to bridge a centuries-old gap between two polarized beliefs.
I think that those who complain about BYU often voice valid concerns. However, it deeply saddens me to hear anyone criticize the leadership of this institution. Taking into account that the president and board of directors are Apostles and/or ordained stewards of God, I do not see how they would direct this institution in any other way besides by revelation.
Only part of your blog was about BYU, but that part made me think of the above statements. Thank you for inspiring that thought process. I also enjoyed your comments on how you were able to extract yourself from your present for a moment to reflect on your past and inspect your future. Moments of reflection (such as yours) are vital if one wants to go somewhere beyond where he or she has already been. Thank you for inspiring that realization as well.
yay for blogging. i found you! i'm glad i can keep tabs on you now...:) don't know if you've checked out our blog from the links on jes&am's--just in case: themileses.blogspot.com
jes & am were in our ward and we love them! i miss having a good girlfriend around. girls are hard. anyway, glad to see you're doing well. alli shiozawa miles
I love BYU too. I love it so much more now that I don't go there anymore. Isn't that a shame? I loved what Elder Holland said last week about returning the University to its original state of glory.
I too find myself realizing I went the long way about learning something I needed to but those lessons tend to stick.
I feel a bit uncomfortable talking about BYU as I go to its main rival but I will do it anyway. I am a cougar through and through. There is something so comforting about BYU, so welcoming and it quickly became a second home to me. I have my frustrations with some cougar culture but I recognize its separation from the university itself.
The diversity at the U is refreshing but I do miss the nice landscapes and the smoke free air.
AND my cousins.
once you leave provo and then you go back after not being there for a long time, you realize how much you love it and miss it. I had such a great experience there. So glad the Lord knew what I needed more than I did, because if it was up to me, I wouldn't have gone there!!
On a lighter note, when you were reading the cousins' blogs, was mine your favorite?!!
hiya roomie! i finally found your blog! yeah! so like i love you and i think you should put some pictures up of you!
BYU Girl, I enjoyed your reading and had much the same emotion at Homecoming Spectacular when I realized how blessed I had been to attend an institution based on such sound principals. Dedication and development of mind were not my forte my freshman year. I had a great lesson to learn when my grades came out. Then I got serious and I stuck with it to graduation. I found that my dedication to that school and all I could learn would bring me personal satisfaction, but also a strength to both mind and spirit that carries with me even today.
As I look out my window and see the "Y" flag flying in hopes for a great football win by the Cougs tomorrow, I think back of the BY Academy that was first attended by our GRANDMA MOULTON. She set a precedence for many of us over one hundred years ago. I love her for that. She remained true blue all of her life. I hope to do the same.
I love your blogs, Jana. Hope you are doing well. I think of you so often. What a sweet, beautiful young lady you are.....CARRY ON!
Love, Aunt Mare
I am not in any way related to BYU. Fortunately I believe that your thoughts are universal. (For I am a Utah man sir.... not that it matters.)
Recently I have myself thinking about life, a lot. Mostly trying to figure out what to do with mine. I pulled out my copy of Runes from 2002. "Holding The Center" - I didn't give it much thought at the time, but I am finding that that is the key. Life is a circle and the center MUST hold.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts with all of us.
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