i've deemed myself a failure of a conservationist. i've always believed you shouldn't waste anything if it can be helped. that is why i agreed to watch over rachel's pasta when she left because i believed it was the right thing to do. she was gonna just leave it, but i insisted that i would watch over it for her and, quote, "put it in a cute tupperware for you to have when you get back." after all, that's what friends are for.
i leaned on the counter and watched the bowtie pasta bubble up and thought about how the sound of boiling water was really quite lovely.
no sooner did i walk away from that fateful pan of pasta then i was immediately distracted by the idea to download this one counting crows song that i hadn't heard in years. this led to a saunter to my room and an attempt to work on my thesis. this was followed by my bed looking oh-so-welcoming for a midday nappy nap. which i took. until i heard a beeping.
following my efforts to turn off every burner in the house in an attempt to figure out what the heck was going on (remember, i had just been sleeping), i reached the knob that was on medium-high, still faithfully heating the remains of a beautiful bubbling bowtie...mess.
the following are a series of text messages concerning the event:
me to rachel
just so you know, our fire alarm works. i fell asleep and forgot about your pasta. yeah...
(i wanted to break it to her gently. fewer details the better.)
rachel to me
[no response]
(i didn't know she'd take it that hard.)
me to emma and rachel
nobody hate me please. the house smells a tad smoky...just don't come home for a couple of hours...
(total understatement. try a couple of days! this text is accompanied by the thought: "i sure hope rachel wasn't that attached to that pan...")
emma to me
lol...what i totally hate you! lol well this is the first time it isn't me! yeah! lol
(we can all see that emma likes exclamation points and "lol." and that is what earns her faithful blog readers - exclamation points and cute acronyms. i need to use more of those.)
me to emma
oh you have no idea. let's just say that our fire alarm works.
emma to me
lol! that's awesome! i have never done that before!
(yeah, jana, i'm not THAT stupid.)
me to emma
just a classic Jana b. moment.
emma to me
lol! i wish i would have been there to see it! and take pictures!
me to emma
yeah, we definitely don't have enough pictures of me being a moron.
emma to me
me neither! ugg we r two of a kind my friend!
me to emma
yes indeed.
emma to me
hehehehehheee!
i'm just glad i'll be gone all next week. this apartment is going to smell pret-ty awesome for a while. so, if you have any referrals for me, i'm still single. (i know. shocking, right?) my homemaking skills have yet to meet their rival.
6 comments:
Jana, I was on the line "let's just say that our fire alarm works" when I found out that our fire alarm works too due to my roommate's cooking. I thought it was entertaining. Oh, and lest you stay stuck on having no readers, Google Reader tells me you have 6 subscribers.
Ha ha! I didn't see your text messages until I was almost home so I thought I would just see it and you in person. And, this was VERY well written. I loved it. So for that, the experience was worth it.
Perhaps that entertaining blog was worth the smell!
Hey Jana, just so you don't think you're blog writing is in vain it's on my friend blogs list, so make that 7 readers!
A few years ago one of my roommates (who happens to also be my older brother) was boiling a pot of some beans or something on the stove...and we left for church. He remembered later...near the end of church! Well that smoke smell was around a heck of a lot longer than a few days, try a month or two!
Jana, perhaps a comparison of your homemaking skills to my general automotive skills would help. the following is most of a conversation i had today when i stopped to help a lady searching for answers beneath her hood.
her: "i think the battery is dead. it won't turn over."
me: "oh i can help you with that, it'll just be a minute."
(after getting out of the car, some small talk, and applying the cables to my battery)
me: "let's see here...so your battery is right there."
her: "i think the red one goes on this end. yep, it's positive."
me: "o-kay. (red clamp applied) so the black one must go on here."
her: "watch out for sparks. if they're set up wrong sparks will fly up at you."
me: "yeah, i've seen that before. i think we're gonna be fine though."
(as i touch the black clamp to the knob, i'm startled by sparks hissing out at me.)
her: "yeah it must be set up wrong."
me: "well, this is the negative one, right? let me give it another try. (more sparks) hmmm."
her: (with a desperation to take the lead in her voice that i am just now picking up on) "why don't you set that end down and we can check your battery."
me: (with a similar desperation to not be the approaching thirty year-old man that has no clue how to jump start a car) "good idea." (clumsily setting the black clamp down next to the battery, yet more sparks fly as apparently it cannot be touching any metal...)
her: (taking off the clamps from my battery and inspecting it) "yep, these two were turned around."
me: "are you sure? i mean look, that knob has more red on it than that one. isn't it 'red on red?'"
her: "i think that's just anti-corrosion spray."
me: "anti-corrosion?"
her: (applying the clamps correnctly) "there we go."
me: (admitting defeat) "do i need to turn my car off?"
her: (applying the last clamp) "i don't think that's necessary. okay, let's give it a shot."
(her car starts right up and after a few minutes i drive away humbled)
so i guess we all have our embarrassing moments. though today's episode isn't half as bad as my "this is guacamole!? whoa, i could've sworn it was avacado dip." comment in front of my entire byu ward a few years ago.
Just so you know, I like the refreshing lack of exclamation points and "cute" acronyms.
Thanks for making me smile.
Post a Comment